My Wedding Ring

30 Dec 2014

On our anniversary, I wanted to share my thoughts with you on my wedding ring and what it means to me.

As a man of science, I thought for sure I, or we, would end up with the Tungsten/Adamantium/Super Decoder/Wonder Twin Powers Activate type of ring. However, those rings felt cheap. They didn’t feel right on my finger. There was no weight, no significance to them. It also didn’t sit well with me that if any changes needed to be made to the ring, it would be an entirely different ring that I might get. In choosing our rings, I think of that scene from Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade where they were choosing the Holy Grail. In the end it would be a very simple white gold ring that we chose.

I like to think back to our wedding day. Holding hands in front of our family. At the start of the ceremony, we had no rings on our fingers. At the end of the ceremony, we both wore this outward symbol of our love for each other. As an introvert, I will say that I am, at times, apprehensive about the questions a wedding ring might invite. However, I will also say that the excitement of being able to talk about you or our life together, outweighs any anxiety.

The design of the wedding ring is also beautifully simple. The two very shiny, but tiny, outer rings, joined in the middle by a larger, raised, not as shiny, inner ring. It makes me think of us. Two individuals now joined together. Initially I focused on how the inner ring would show “wear” since it was the part of the ring that came into the most contact with other things throughout the day. I wanted it to be as pristine as it was when you put it on my finger during our wedding ceremony. But I realized that the “wear” doesn’t make the ring any less beautiful, it’s just a manifestation of our life and the things that we do together.

During the day, sometimes I’ll twist the ring around my finger and wonder if you’re doing the same thing at the same time. Cut to some side-by-side scene in a movie where the couple is separated across a house or a state or a country and they are twisting their rings at the same time.

I like the sound my ring makes when it brushes past your ring when we are lying in bed holding each other or when we express the call and response of, “I love you” / “I love you too” in our secret language.

In the past two years, I haven’t taken the ring off. Not willingly. I will confess that it has slipped off in the shower a couple of times when I’m using the bath puff on my hands and it slips off accidentally. I get anxious thinking that you’ll hear the ring bounce around the shower and get upset. But I know that wouldn’t happen.

My wedding ring is an embodiment of our love. In some way I think of it as a representation of you. Whenever you’re not around, I can touch the ring, and in some weird way touch our love. That makes me happy. And to paraphrase our niece, it makes my heart happy. You make my heart happy.

Happy anniversary. I love you.